A Week Of Hell
by animeo
Summary: What happens when two national level tennis teams get together for a week at one of the Buchou's great Uncle's mansion on an uncharted island in the middle of the pacific? WHO KNOWS! Extreme OOC.
1. Day 1: Boarding and Roommates

**Alright so I had a freakin weird dream, hence how this Fic was born! now this will be a multi chapter fic (yep another one!) Ne, there maybe some OOC-ness in which case I'm SO VERY SORRY in advance. My dream made them that way so please don't hurt me. I'll be writting this as my dream continues on. There might be character death and such so yea I'm sorry about that too, though I can garuantee that such things will happen (Like I said this is all on based off of my freaky ass dreams people!) Enjoy!**

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"Hoi Hoi, why are we going here Tezuka?" Eiji asked as they boarded a rather large and expensive looking cruise ship.

"Don't you remember Eiji? Tezuka said that it was because his great uncle is allowing him to bring some of his friends over to his home for the week. There is also supposed to be some kind of surprise waiting for us." Oishi explained as he too boarded the ship.

"So it requires us to use a boat?" Eiji questioned again poking the hull of said ship on his way up the boarding ramp.

"Yes, my great uncle preferred seclusion so he built his home on an island off in the middle of the Pacific Ocean." Tezuka explained.

"The Time Share on the place must be expensive." Fuji added with a small laugh.

"Hn."

"Umm Tezuka, the probability of this being a trap set by some insane Authoress who had a dream about this is exactly 99.9 percent." Inui stated tapping the buchou on the shoulder.

"Oh come on Inui, there is no such thing as an authoress, they've never existed they're just a myth to creep out amazingly handsome anime/manga characters!" Eiji smiled wrapping an arm around the data masters shoulders.

"And it's quite obvious that we aren't that," Momoshiro smiled.

"Speak for yourself Momo," Eiji muttered grabbing Tezuka, Fuji, and Echizen by the necks, "I think _we_ are quite handsome even little Ochibi."

"Kiku…senpai….breathing….agh."

"Eiji….please let go…"

"Yudan...Sezu…Ni…Ikou…"

"Why am I not in that little group Eiji?" Oishi cried small tears filling his eyes.

"Mada…Mada…agh Dane…Egg headed…senpai…not cute…" Echizen chocked out. Tezuka and Fuji had somehow found a way out the death hold that was Eiji's arms.

"You know what, usually I'd say let him go Eiji, but I think you should just kill him." Oishi said his frown growing as he turned to walk away. Everyone just stared at him, Eiji being in so much shock at what is beloved doubles partner had said let his arms go limp allowing Echizen to breathe again.

"That was mean Ochibi!" Eiji yelled shaking the poor boy violently. "Nya, Oishi don't listen to Ochibi, He's just being stupid, I said handsome not CUTE there is a difference. OISHI WAIT UP!" Eiji began to run after Oishi in a desperate attempt to apologize for his own mistake and Echizen's.

"Here you are sir, these are your cabins, your luggage has already been loaded we will be shipping out in a few minutes." The stewardess smiled leading the boys in, "Oh and there are other passengers so do feel free to mingle around. Your roommates are already settled into their rooms. Oh and there will be no switching of rooms either." She turned and left after handing the keys to each of the rooms to Tezuka.

"Roommates?" Fuji sighed.

"Other passengers?" Eiji questioned.

"This must have been the surprise." Oishi muttered scratching his head.

"Since we don't know who our roommates are all we can do is pick keys, I'll take this one," Tezuka held up an ornate key. Everyone else proceeded to pick keys, Eiji took the blue key, Oishi the yellow, Fuji the pink, Echizen, the black; Kawamura the brown, Kaidoh the green, Inui took Orange, and Momoshiro took magenta.

"Why am I stuck with the girly color?" Momo complained holding up his key.

"Don't worry Fujiko got Pink!" Eiji grinned; Fuji also smiled his usual smile.

"Alright everyone go to your rooms and settle in." Tezuka stated walking away from the group. Each of the other regulars departed going their own separate ways, slowly putting their own keys into their doors wondering who or what would be on the other side of that door.

Tezuka got the largest shock of his own life though he didn't show it. It just had to be this person, of all the lowlifes in the world he could have been forced to roommate with.

**Ne, there ya go. Now Chapter 2 will be up in a short while (Since that part occured last night along wit this part) I just had to split it up because it bothered me when it was together for some reason. I would love Reviews you guys!**


	2. Day 1: Tezuka and Kikumaru's roommates

**ALright well I actually had this part of the dream the night before last but since my electricity went out not long after I posted the first chapter I had to wait until today to post the second so here you go! I'm still working on the 3rd chapter so please be patient! and as always I hope you will enjoy this chapter!**

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"Tezuka," came an articulate voice from the bed, which there was only one of mind you in the rather spacious cabin. Tezuka's left eye twitched ever so slightly as he gave a small polite nod to the person in front of him.

"Atobe."

"Ore-sama didn't know you would be here of all places Tezuka." Atobe removed himself from the bed and strode over to his new roommate.

"I wasn't expecting you either Atobe," Tezuka replied "What are you doing here on my great uncle's ship?"

"You great uncle? I think you mean Ore-sama's great uncle not your's Tezuka." Atobe corrected wagging a finger in Tezuka's face.

"No, you are mistaken Atobe, _my_ great uncle owns this ship and the island that this ship is in route to."

"Still just as stubborn as ever eh Tezuka, you know Ore-sama likes guys who are stubborn." Atobe smirked slipping his arms around Tezuka's neck and placed a small kiss on the other boy's lips. Of course Tezuka knew this, which was part of the reason why the diva asked to go out with him in the first place, not to mention the fact that they did like each other quite a bit.

Tezuka stood there rooted to his own spot not even attempting to return the embrace or kiss. Atobe was being his usual 'I-am-going-to-get-you-in-to-bed-with-me-Tezuka' self. Tezuka being him refused to show that he enjoyed it when Atobe became like this.

"Atobe do you know where my things are at?" Tezuka asked pushing the diva from him reluctantly.

"No Ore-sama hasn't yet, though I think clothes are far from you mind right now Tezuka. As much you don't want to show it I know what you're thinking." Atobe smirked pulling Tezuka closer to the bed.

"Atobe, not right now, maybe later." Tezuka stated firmly making Atobe stop pulling him.

"Is that a promise?" Tezuka nodded, "Fine then go and see about your other peasants then Ore-sama shall stay here then."

"_WAAAH NOT YOU!"_

"_OH MY GOD KANGAROO BOY!"_

"It seems as though Kikumaru found his roommate." Tezuka stated turning towards the direction of the noise in question.

"It seems that way.

"_I DON'T WANT TO ROOM WITH YOU, SHISHIDO-SAN SAVE ME!"_

"Poor Otori, he really wanted to be with Shishido, who was that with him?"

"Probably Kaidoh."

"_GEKOKUJYO FREAK!"_

"Hmm, Echizen and Hiyoshi that's an odd rooming pair."

"Ore-sama doubts either of us will have a team when we return from this trip." Atobe stated. Tezuka gave a nod of agreement.

"At least the captain's will return."

"Ore-sama agrees entirely!" Atobe smirked, "Though Ore-sama would agree even more if-"

"No."

"You are making this very difficult for Ore-sama." Atobe frowned, "Now just let Ore-sama work Tezuka."

"No."

Atobe's eyes narrowed slightly "shut up and get on the bed Tezuka!"

"No." Tezuka said for the third time, becoming quite annoyed he crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at Atobe.

"GET ON THE BED NOW!" Atobe raised his voice slightly and pushed Tezuka gently across the room onto the aforementioned bed.

"Atobe, this is hardly the time for something like this." Tezuka winced falling down onto the bed.

"It's been almost a month Tezuka," Atobe muttered climbing on top of the Seigaku buchou, "you can't tell me that you actually expect me to just sit here while you are in the same_ bedroom_, do you. Because if you do then I'm very disappointed in your thought process Tezuka." Atobe dove down for a quick kiss before sliding off the bed to kneel in front of Tezuka.

Tezuka couldn't really disagree with this logic. It was true that it had been a month, but he had clearly told the boy to wait until later, at least until the ship pulled out. But there was no stopping Atobe once he got his mind set on something, he was going to have his way and Tezuka was going to let him, that's just how things worked.

It was during times like that these that Tezuka didn't have to be in charge of how things went no matter how hard he tried, he liked it like that. The sudden lack of control in any other situation would make him uneasy but here it was just how things had to be. _It was the only way things could work_ as Atobe put it several times. All he had to do was just sit there and Atobe did all the work for him.

"Ne Tezuka, did you hear something?" Atobe asked bringing his head up for a moment.

"No I didn't, now stop talking Atobe." Tezuka growled pushing the other's head back down forcefully. _'This is how things are supposed to be' _Tezuka thought as his own breathing increased along the glowing color on his face.

* * *

"What are you doing here kangaroo freak!" Eiji yelled when he realized just how it was that was in the room.

"What do you think idiot? I'm waiting on my roommate…wait don't tell me its you!" Gakuto yelled back jumping up from his seat near the porthole. He couldn't believe this, he actually had to room with this…this…wannabe cat freak that had _no_ acrobatic skills what's so ever.

"Che, I don't want to room with you but the stewardess said no switchies," Eiji muttered walking across to the other side of the room near the second porthole window. "I'd rather room with Oishi anyways."

"Well I'd rather room with Yuushi if you must know." Gakuto frowned crossing his arms over his chest.

"I don't care what you do with that drawling romantic in your free time I want my Oishi!"

"That egg headed mother hen? What could you possibly see in him?"

"HEY Oishi is not an egg head, it's more like a bowling ball with out the holes." Eiji corrected.

"Well Yuushi isn't a drawling romantic; he just reads too many romance novels!" Gakuto spat back before storming out of the room.

"HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"

"Where do you think? I'm going to find Yuushi so I don't have to look at your fugly face!"

"Fugly? Your mom is fugly!"

"Your mom's cat's face is fugly!"

"Your mom's cat's face goes to college and has to pay for his crack whore named Oshitari is fugly!" Eiji sneered. Gakuto gasped dramatically falling backwards against the door of Atobe and Tezuka's room.

"You take that back right now you stupid…STUPID HEAD!"

"_GET ON THE BED NOW!"_

"Was that Atobe-san? WAIT, Your buchou is trying to violate mine!" Eiji gasped his eyes wide with horror.

"_Atobe this is hardly the time for something like this."_

"Please, your's is just stupid enough to resist that's all."

"TAKE THAT BACK! MY BUCHOU IS WAY SMARTER THAN YOURS!" Eiji yelled wrestling Gakuto to the ground.

"_Ne, Tezuka did you hear something?"_

"_No I didn't, now stop talking Atobe."_

"Oh my god…YOUR BUCHOU IS GIVING TEZUKA HEAD!" Eiji yelped scooting away from the door and Gakuto.

"Na ah if anyone is giving anyone head it's your buchou giving it to Atobe-buchou." Gakuto shuddered, as much as he disliked the grey haired boy, he was still his buchou. Gakuto had to up keep Atobe's reputation of people bowing down to him not the other way around.

"Just accept the fact that our Buchou is better looking than that stupid Atobe-san of yours!"

"NEVER!" Gakuto lunged at the red headed neko boy of Seigaku. He was going to win this fight even if it killed him. After rolling around in the hallway for several minutes Oishi and Oshitari proceeded to pull the two apart.

"Oishi/Yuushi where did you come from?" The two acrobats asked in unison struggling from their doubles partner's grips.

"We heard you two outside," Oishi said pulling Eiji up off the ground.

"Both of you were yelling something about Buchou's being better than someone else's?" Oshitari added.

"Yea, he said that Atobe-buchou was giving head to Tezuka-san!" Gakuto exclaimed waving his arms about. Oshitari stared at his doubles partner in bewilderment. "It would clearly be the other way around; it is Atobe we are talking about!"

"Look Gakuto, I'm sure that what ever you heard coming from Atobe-Buchou's room was merely you imagination."

"I heard it too!" Eiji said.

"Honestly Eiji, I think you're imagining things. Atobe-san and Tezuka would never do something like that together, they are complete opposites." Oishi assured his partner. Eiji gave him a look that spelled out the fact that he thought differently.

"Really now why don't you go up to their door and listen then!" Gakuto and Eiji suggested pointing towards the door of sexual doom!

"Fine we will Oishi are you coming?" Oshitari asked taking a step towards the door.

"Umm this isn't right; we shouldn't listen in on their private business." Oishi stuttered.

"But you just said that it wasn't possible for them to be doing _that_. Don't tell me you doubt yourself."

"Of course not, its just it would be rude. What if they caught us?"

"Then they'll give us laps and we will get over it!" Eiji felt like he had to spell everything out to the weird haired boy, which was unusual. "COME ON!" He grabbed Oishi's hand and proceeded to pull him towards the door."Eiji this isn't-"

"Shh, I can't hear!" Eiji whispered putting his ear up to the door.

"_Tezuka you're being loud again, the others will hear you."_

"_Then stop if you're AAH afraid of being caAAught AAAtobe"_

"_Why would Ore-sama do something as stupid as that? It's not everyday that one can see the great Tezuka Kunimitsu with an adorable flushed face."_

Eiji and Oishi pulled away from the door, Eiji with a smirk this time as Oishi's eyes were the size of dinner plates at a buffet line.

"You guys weren't kidding when you said that they were doing…something in there where you?" Oishi stuttered scrambling his way from the door.

"SEE I TOLD YOU!" Eiji hissed getting up.

"Can Ore-sama help you with something?" Atobe stated poking his head of the door glaring at the unwanted listeners.

"AGH!" Eiji, Oishi, Gakuto, and Oshitari yelp scrambling back to their rooms.

* * *

"I told you that you were being too loud Tezuka." Atobe closed the door and faced Tezuka.

"Who was it?" Tezuka asked his face still flushed from earlier his breathing trying to become regular once again. This was the one part he didn't like, the fact it took so long for him to regain his composed look afterwards.

"Just Oshitari and Gakuto along with your doubles team."

"Kikumaru and Oishi?" Tezuka's eyes widened. That wasn't good Eiji couldn't keep his mouth just when he heard or saw something that wasn't meant be heard or seen. He could hear it now _'FUJIKO I HEARD SOMETHING AWESOME!'_ He rubbed the bridge of his nose as he replaced his glasses to their rightful place on his face.

"Getting a headache?"

"You would too if you had Kikumaru on your team."

* * *

**BWAHAHAHA! Like I said if anything in this was OOC Then I'm sorry I warned you before hand so its your fault for reading -. And yes There is Golden Pair (Which is odd for me!) and AtobexTezuka! NE, I think its because I was reading some AtobexTezuka doujinshi the night before so I guess its natural for them to be doing that in my dreams as well (ne I'm such a fangirl its pathetic). Well review if you wish guys!**


	3. Day 1: Kaidoh and Inui's Roommates

**Ok so I took a nap and this came to me, as I've mentioned before there will be some form of OOC-ness in the characters so you have been warned (A 3rd time) BEHOLD THE IGNORANCE OF MY CRAZED DREAMS! Enjoy **

**A/N: OMG! I CAN'T BELIEVE I POSTED THIS WITHOUT EDITING! -tears- I'm so freakin embarassed more so than what I am with the short chapters...I'm sorry you guys here its been revised now so there shouldn't be anymore horrendous spelling mistakes and such. That was so unlike me to do this. please forgive me! (Good thing I caught it before anyone decided to tell me about it)**

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"WAAAH NOT YOU! SHISHIDO-SAN SAVE ME!" Otori yelled as soon as the door opened up revealing a very pissed pillow faced Kaidoh.

"What about me?" He hissed glaring at the boy who had just thrown a pillow in his face from the other side of the room. Poor Otori was now cowering in the farthest corners of the bed, the covers pulled up to his eyes so that all you could see of his was the top of his head.

"I don't want to room with your, your creepy! SHISHIDO-SAN!" Otori cried again.

* * *

"CHOTAROU I'M COMING DON'T MOVE!" Shishido yelled from down the hallway. "STOP FOLLOWING YOU DATA FREAK!"

"Just slow down I need to just get some more data on you!" Inui grunted trying to hold the capped boy down in a choke hold.

"Let go of me, Chotarou needs me!"

"So you and your kouhai do have something more than friendship and trust as doubles partners? Ii data."

"I swear you say 'Ii data' one more time I'm going to beat your face in, now LET GO!" Shishido yelled biting down Inui's arm.

"YOW!" Inui yelped letting go of the boy.

"Don't worry Chotarou I'm coming just hold on!" Shishido being the dash specialist did what else; he dashed to his dear doubles partner who was in some form of unknown danger! "Chotarou I'm here what is?" He yelled pushing Kaidoh out of the open door way so that he could pass.

"Shishido-san, I don't want to room with that guy he's scary, can I please room with you?"

"The stewardess clearly stated that there was to be no room changes," Inui muttered rubbing his forearm, Shishido had left quite a mark, luckily it did not puncture the skin.

"Che, screw what she said." Shishido spat back sitting next to Chotarou pulling the covers down. Turning to his doubles partner he put a sincere face and whispered softly "If you want me too Chotarou, I can sleep here tonight."

"Really would you do that for me Shishido-san?" Otori asked.

"Yep, I wouldn't leave you alone with that snake freak would I?" Shishido sighed. Kaidoh gave an irritated hiss as the comment about him, they spoke as though he was not there and that rather hurt him.

"No I guess you wouldn't. But what about the two of them Shishido-san?"

"What about them? They still have my old room that they can stay in."

"Yes Kaidoh, there is still _my_room that we can stay in; I hope you don't mind one bed." Inui gave a toothy grin to his kouhai, who in return gave the ever so popular 'go-to-hell" look followed by a prompt

"Fsssh don't get any ideas Inui-senpai, Fssshuu. This is only because I don't want more pillows thrown at me." Kaidoh hissed walking out the door.

"I'm sorry to make you carry your stuff all the way down here because of me." Otori smiled sheepishly as he helped Shishido with the last piece of his luggage.

"I told you its fine Chotarou; I really didn't want to be in the same room as that freak from Seigaku anyways. I'd much rather be with you." Shishido blushed lightly setting down his suitcase.

"Well I'd rather be with you too Shishido-san." Otori grinned.

_'Ugh, he just doesn't get it does he? What will I have to do in order to get it through his big thick head? Maybe the altitude up there is affecting his thought process…'_Shishido thought as his stomach growled.

"Hey Chotarou, are you hungry?"

"Yep, are you?"

"Yea, lets go see what they have on this floating hotel they call a boat."

"Ship Shishido-san, it's called a ship."

"Well I say it's a boat!"

Otori sighed and followed his senpai in search of food this the _boat_.

"You know Kaidoh, just special for this trip I took the liberty of developing a special training menu." Inui said handing Kaidoh the small piece of white paper.

"This is twice what I normally do?"

"Just because everyone else is on vacation letting themselves go doesn't mean you can." Inui said. _'I don't want my sleeping buddy loosing his amazing looks!'_

_

* * *

_

Inui's perception theatre!

"Oh Kaoru you're all sweaty here let me help you with that."

"Senpai, don't touch there I'm not ready for something like that."

"Don't worry it will only hurt for a moment."

* * *

'_Kaidoh, you're so adorable at times.'_Inui thought as he gazed his unsuspecting kouhai. Well he was until Kaidoh turned around and noticed the look on his face and hit him over the back of the head.

"OW what was that for? It's not nice to hit your senpai Kaidoh." Inui yelled rubbing the back of his head where Kaidoh palm had just collided.

"It's not very polite to have…THOUGHTS about your Kouhai!" Kaidoh yelled back the blush on his face darkening.

"How would know if I was or wasn't thinking such…things about you?"

Kaidoh took both of his index fingers and poked Inui's cheeks. "The blush on your face and the lecherous look you where giving me, Fshhhu."

Oh, so he was that obvious was he? Inui blinked several times never did he think of himself to be obvious he was able to stalk…er…gather data on other people without them ever knowing about it.

"I'll be more careful in my thoughts then next time…" Inui muttered turning his back to Kaidoh.

"Please do, or better yet don't think anything at all." Kaidoh hissed walking over to the bed.

* * *

**So there it is, I'm horridly embarassed with the short chapters you guys But until the intro's and such stop I won't be able to really read anything off of the short clips I'm given during my sleep. So for now please bare with me! Arigatou...**


	4. Day 1: Fuji's Rommate

**So, yea before you get to thinking that this ENTIRE chapter is spent of Fuji meeting his roommate your wrong...mainly because I'm the one who wrote it so I'm automaticaly right! Ne, this chapter took me awhile a few naps and a night of sleep later and this is all I get? Che, oh well. Enjoy you guys.**

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Fuji walked up to the door of his cabin, _'I wonder who my roommate will be, given by the shrieks of terror from the others, it can't be good. Well if anything I know I'm not the only one in misery I can continue to smile at theirs.'_ He opened the door slowly poking his head in, noticing that there was a mound of covers with snoring sounds being emitted from it. Fuji cocked an eyebrow and sauntered over to the mass of material. "Well that's strange it seems to be alive judging by the sounds." He muttered.

"Kabaji put me down….zzz…just a few more minutes I'll be ready to…play by then…." the mass muttered as it shifted.

Fuji intrigued by this decided to poke it and see what would happen. The mass squirmed some then settled, so Fuji poked it again a little harder this time. The reaction the same as before.

Fuji's smiled brightened as he pulled the top of the covers back revealing as peacefully sleeping Akutagawa Jirou.

"FUJIKO FUJIKO I HEARD SOMETHING AWESOME!" Eiji yelled busting through the tensai's door. Fuji turned and gave the red head a confused look that was shortly followed by a glare.

"Eiji be quite my roommate is sleeping." He whispered.

"Did you kill him already Fujiko? Never mind. I just heard something awesome!" Eiji grinned.

"What would that be?"

"I heard Atobe and Tezuka-buchou doing…things!" Fuji's eyes opened wide as he stared at the acrobat. Everyone knew that Fuji had a thing for their captain; he pretty much made his feelings blatantly obvious to Tezuka. But Tezuka being Tezuka he didn't pay any attention since it wasn't directly related to tennis.

Fuji had stayed by his side during everything, he was nice, funny, and a little twisted in humor but who wasn't? Then you have Atobe Keigo the walking definition of 'I-am-the-greatest-thing-on-the-face-of-the-whole-freakin-planet-so-bow-down-to-me!' type of arrogance and narcissism. What did Tezuka see in that? Not to mention the fact that this was the same Atobe Keigo that progressed the destruction of his left arm.

Anyone at this point who wasn't blind could tell that our dear Tensai was pissed beyond a doubt at this news.

"You heard what?" He asked.

"I heard them doing…things…Fujiko…what's with that look?" Eiji muttered gazing at his friend, "It's creeping me out, seriously stop that!"

"If you'd please excuse me Eiji, I need to go and see about something." Fuji smiled maliciously as he pushed past Eiji.

"I'M UP I'M UP!" Jirou yelled kicking is way out of the covers. He sat up untangling himself and stared at Eiji. "Hey are you my roommate? I hope not, I hope its Marui-kun or maybe even that Fuji guy that would really awesome!" He grinned. Eiji gave a freaked look before sliding his way out of the room, hoping that if he maintained eye contact and back out of the room slowly, then the strange narcoleptic freak might not notice him leaving.

"HEY WHERE YOU GOING?" Jirou yelled getting up from the bed.

"HAVE MERCY NARCOLEPTIC DEMON!" Eiji yelled running back towards his room. "OISHI!"

* * *

"What is it Ore-sama is very busy right now?" Atobe growled opening up the door to his and Tezuka's cabin. He was in the middle of very important business concerning the Seigaku Buchou and he didn't appreciate it when his 'work' was interrupted.

Fuji stared at the half clothed narcissist, he wasn't impressed at all. Honestly what did Tezuka see?

"I need to speak with Tezuka." Fuji stated as it was the most obvious thing on earth. Which it was why would he need to speak with Atobe?

"He's busy at the moment, in the shower. Perhaps Ore-sama can be of some assistance?"

"No, I just need to speak with Tezuka that's all, its nothing too important." The tensai turned and gave a small wave, "Tell him I came by."

"Will do…not" He muttered under his breath. He stepped back inside and closed the door behind him.

"Honestly Tezuka, your teammates are very annoying. always needing things for this or that, or just being plain nosey."

"I know." Tezuka replied sitting up from the bed, sheets meticulously placed across his lap incase anymore unwanted intrusions came. "It makes me wonder how they survived while I was in Kyushu."

Atobe let out a small laugh. He could just imagine the entire team of Suisun Taken running around like chicken with their heads cut off and their poor excuse of a vice-captain running right along with them. Atobe always thought of the team being a joke, but his own wasn't any better at times.

"Tezuka."

"Hn?"

"Why aren't you in the shower? Ore-sama just said that you were yet you aren't, and Ore-sama doesn't wish to become a liar." Tezuka raised an eyebrow questioningly. "What are you looking at?"

"Nothing," Tezuka muttered getting up from the bed. Atobe stared at the retreating figure as it slipped in to the bathroom.

A smirk grew on Atobe's face as an idea struck him. Striding over to the bathroom door he raised his hand to knock, but before his perfect knuckles could make contact with said door Tezuka's voice from inside rang out.

"Don't even think about it Atobe, _you_ might be up for round four, but _I_ am not." The sounds of water running drown out the rest of his voice.

"Why would you think something like that Tezuka?"

"Why else would you be standing in front of the bathroom door?" Tezuka murmured poking his head outside the door. Atobe having the wondrous insight that he did swooped in for a quick kiss. "My point exactly," Tezuka dead panned before closing the door again with a smart 'click'.

Atobe's smirk fell along with his head as he leaned it against the door. Tezuka was right though, round four was a little excessive before lunch…maybe afterwards? Yea afterwards sounds nice.

* * *

"'He's in he shower.'" Fuji muttered mimicking Atobe's aristocratic tone, "Please, he must really think I'm stupid in order to use that lame of an excuse."

Pushing open the door his cabin he found it to be empty this time, "Jirou-kun must have left to go look around, surprising that he's even awake."

* * *

"WOW! Oshitari look at this place, it's huge. The ocean is so big!" Jirou gasped as he held on to the railing of the upper deck.

"Be careful Jirou we don't need you falling overboard." Oshitari muttered turning another page in his newest novel (We all know what kind right? ROMANCE!)

"I know I know," Jirou grinned letting loose of the railing and turned towards Oshitari, "How can you be reading at a time like this?"

"Easily, see turn the page, read the words, turn the page, read the words, repeat until finished with book." Oshitari drawled.

"I wonder if that Fuji guy is back yet I should go see what he's doing, probably more fun than this anyways!" Jirou sighed running off.

"Whatever, you little sunspot." Oshitari muttered under his breath, "Maybe he'll get laid by the sadistic freak and then he can leave Atobe and me alone. Wait, doe he have the attention span to stay awake during something like that?"

* * *

**I know I know there are TONS of sexual refrences in this fic. especially with Atobe and Tezuka, cause they are just amazing in everyway! Did I mention how pathetic I am when it comes to things like this? Well fangirling that is :...( fangirling makes me feel...girly and thats weird!**

**And I think my brain got Niou and Oshitari mixed up when I was dreaming because what Oshitari said is such a Niou thing. Hmm I wonder if Rikkai will be in this, that would be cool!**

**Review if you wish to.**


	5. Day 1: Kawamura and Echizen's Roommates

**Alright, I know I'm a horrid person and I haven't worked on this fic in like for freakin ever! But I am now...so yea here ya go and it's short and sucky, and for I believe the second time ever I have sakuno in this! I KNOW IT'S REAL BAD JUST BECAUSE OF THAT...and she's crazy which isn't surprising in the slightest.**

* * *

"What the hell?" Echizen twitched looking at the far left hand corner of the cabin. "Are you the only one here?"

"Do you see anyone else?" Hiyoshi replied curtly.

"No."

"There you go, put the pieces together." Hiyoshi crossed the room and walked out past Echizen without even saying 'excuse me' or anything of the sort.

"Rude."

* * *

Kawamura turned the key inside his door and walked inside, surprised to see the room he empty he called out "Hey, is anyone here? Hello?"

"Mmmph." A muffled cry came from a stray bag on the bed. Apparently the crew had already brought his luggage even though he hadn't told them what cabin he was in yet. Kawamura was, to say the least, a little freaked out by that.

"Hello?" He said sheepishly again.

"MRRPHMRUPHS!" The bag jumped erratically around the bed until it fell off letting out a small, "mrowph…"

Kawamura stared at the bag in horror for a moment. Taking a cautious step closer he examined the bag a little closer. It wasn't his bag that's for sure, it was pink, and purple, with small white flowers and ducks on it. It definitely had a girlish air about it, either that or _really_ gay guy was rooming with him, in which case he would run…very…very far away…er at least to the boat deck and plead for mercy. Kawamura wasn't a homophobe, pretty much every single one of his teammates were of the homosexual orientation, he was just insecure about being heterosexual that's all.

Reaching over with his foot he poked the bag gingerly, whatever was inside freaked at the contact and rolled over letting out muffled shrieks.

"Hey who's in there?" Kawamura asked reaching catching the bag as it scooted by him, and unzipped the bag.

"OH DEAR GOD!" A girlish voice came as two dark brown braids popped out of the bag. "THANK YOU HUSBAND FOR SAVING ME!"

"What? Husband I'm not your husband lady…" Kawamura got a closer look at the braids and the head that they were attached to and recognized the person. "Ryuuzaki Sakuno?"

"Ah…Kawamura-sempai?" Sakuno blinked looking up, "Why isn't my husband here?"

"Excuse me Sakuno-chan but your 'husband'?"

"YES! My husband Echizen Ryoma is on this boat somewhere and I need to find him for our honeymoon." Sakuno sighed as she got out of the bag, "This is our anniversary trip."

"Your anniversary trip?"

"Yes, we've been married since school started." She sighed dreamily.

"Oh well congratulations," Kawamura laughed softly as he stood up, "Let me go find him for you."

"You'd really do that for me Kawamura-sempai?"

"Yep."

"THANK YOU!"

"This is stupid you know that right? There is only one bed." Echizen plopped his luggage down on the bed, the left side he had claimed as his by doing this.

"I've dealt with worse," Hiyoshi grumbled, "My sempai's are insane."

"As are mine, especially Fuji-sempai, and now I'm starting to question Tezuka-Buchou's sanity."

"I find that a waste of time, its just easier to believe that they were all dropped on their heads repeatedly as children," Hiyoshi shrugged.

"Truth that." Echizen nodded. A sharp knock came at the door and Echizen turned towards it, "Who is it?"

"It's me, Kawamura, Echizen there's something important I need to talk to you about."

"Kawamura-sempai?" Echizen muttered as he opened the door, "What is it?"

"Umm…well there's a problem with my roommate, or well it's Sakuno-chan I think she's a stowaway on here, and she says it's your anniversary?"

"Shit. That twit thinks we're married, throw her over board for all I care." Echizen spat out crossing his arms over his chest. Kawamura looked back at him incredulously.

"You aren't serious are you Echizen? I couldn't throw her over board."

"Fine then I will, what room are you Sempai?"

"Dadadada Echizen that isn't necessary, I'll just tell buchou and see what he'll do."

* * *

"Tezuk-a" Atobe whined sitting next to the bathroom door. "Hurry u--p! Ore-sama commands it!" He fell over to the side in a rather ungraceful manner, only because he was alone so no one could see it.

"Hold on-- what is that?" Tezuka poked his wet head out of the bathroom.

"What are you--" Tezuka shushed Atobe with a hand listened again. A small faint knock came at the front door. "Not again."

"I'll take care of it." Tezuka sighed walking out, towel safely secure around his waist, and opened up the door. "Yes?"

"Ugh, Tezuka, I have a problem." Kawamura said not hiding his unease at all.

* * *

**WOW TOTAL SUCKAGE!...I wouldn't blame ANY OF YOU if you don't review...though I would be sad and stuffs if you didn't. meh...**

**animeo**


	6. Day 1: Too much Estrogene in the Room

**Sorry you guys I've been like real busy lately (on the plus side FOOTLOOSE is done!) so yea here is an REALLY short chapter 6...**

**EDIT: Ok so it's not quite as short as it was before about 470 words have been added (meaning the part i lost originally, but didn't tell you guys) So enjoy the NEW chapter 6!**

* * *

"What is it?"

"Umm, Ryuuzaki Sakuno is in my room right now, she popped out of this bag and started saying that Echizen was her husband and that this was their honeymoon/anniversary trip." Kawamura explained in an erratic pace.

"Their honeymoon?" Tezuka echoed leaning against the doorframe that connected his cabin to the hallway.

"Yes, she's bat shit insane buchou." Echizen added from behind Kawamura, startling the other boy as he stepped aside.

"You know club rules, unless they play tennis no girls. That applies to all of us." Tezuka said.

Echizen let out a sigh and grimace, "She's in the girls' tennis club. I'm the only reason she even joined."

"Damn."

"You're telling me, look buchou; couldn't you just make up a rule that could get me out of this? Something like _no relationships period._"

"_You make that rule Tezuka Kunimitsu and Ore-sama will rip you a new one, understand!"_ Atobe's muffled voice flew from the bathroom to the hallway. Tezuka's eyes widened for a moment before slowly stepping outside the door and closing it gently behind him. Apparently, he was more fazed by the threat than his lack of clothing.

"On that note, if you didn't notice, my hands are tied. Can't you just throw her over the railing or stick her into the storage in the hull?"

"BUCHOU!" Kawamura exclaimed. He was absolutely astounded and appalled at the fact that not only was his kouhai wanting to get rid of this girl, but so was his buchou?

"No brunettes then?" Echizen suggested. Tezuka looked down at him and pointed at the door behind him. "What?" Echizen asked.

"Nothing, just the brunette thing won't work." If things ever fell through with Atobe, Tezuka wanted to make sure he still had his options open with Sanada, so he couldn't ruin them by saying _'no brunettes'._

"No long hair?" Kawamura tried. He was only making suggestions because he feared for the girl's safety. Seeing that his suggestion was not going over very well due to the silence, he tried again "How about, good players only?"

"Nooo--WAIT A MINUTE! Kawamura-sempai that is brilliant. I forgot how much she sucks at pretty much everything she does."

"There you go." Tezuka deadpanned, "Your problem is fixed." He then turned to Taka-san. "You, on the other hand, will have to grow some balls and deal with her _or_ you may take my suggestions and throw her over the railing or stuff her in the storage space. Either way I won't have to deal with it or hear about it, now if you'll excuse me." Tezuka nodded to Kawamura and Echizen before going back inside his room.

"There you go sempai, problem solved, see ya later." Echizen turned with a halfhearted wave.

"Wait, but-" Kawamura stuttered to the retreating back.

"Good luck!" Echizen called back, "you're gonna need it." he added under his breath.

Kawamura truly was at a loss of what he should do. He did not want to be rude and tell the girl to get the hell out of his room, and to go die in a fire. Nor did he want to just chunk her into the dark depth of the Pacific Ocean like Tezuka and Echizen suggested. Doing that would not only get rid of her for the trip but also for the rest of their known lives. Perhaps that is what they wanted; maybe the two of them hated her just that much. True, she was not the brightest, charismatic, or confident of the girls at school, but at least she was not that Tomoka girl. None of those factors gave them any reason to wish her dead. Kawamura would just make do with her, for the trip and see if he can get a room by himself on the way back.

When Kawamura retuned to his room he sorely regretted his I'm-going-to-be-the-nice-guy decision.

"Where is he?"

"Who?"

"My husband!" Sakuno crossed her arms over her chest in a huff. "You said you were going to and get him, but he isn't here."

"Oh," Kawamura fumbled over his words for a moment as he tried to think up a good excuse for his lack of a third person in the room. "He was busy." Sakuno did not seem satisfied, "he was busy…being…sick? Yea and he told me that he didn't want you to get sick either so you shouldn't bother him."

Sakuno sighed dreamily as she stared up at the ceiling, "Even when he's sick, he so considerate of my well being."

'_This girl is completely insane…'_

"That is why when we get older; I'll bear him lots of children-"

Why was she still speaking? How long could she go one this way? Had she even taken a breath since he had gotten back into the room? No one except for Sakuno knew the answer to this question.

Kawamura wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there staring at the girl in obvious boredom from her words. Oh yes he was definitely regretting his nice guy ways. All he saw were her mouth moving, and nothing else, merely jaws flapping and the occasionally spit flying forth.

"I'm so glad he's my husband, he may not seem like-" Dear god she was still talking about him? This girl didn't just like him; she was seriously on the brink of mental illness, borderline obsession.

"Even though I can't play tennis as well as he can-" Kawamura couldn't take it any more he was going insane just by sitting there.

"SHUT UP ALREADY!" Sakuno let out a yelp at the out burst. "Really how long can you talk about him? You've got to run out of 'wonderful' things to say eventually, I mean really there isn't anything that great about the guy besides his tennis!"

Sakuno backed away slowly, tears welling up in her eyes. "I still love him despite his coldness! I love who he is!"

"You're delusional! Now get the hell out of my room!"

"Why are you being so mean to me Kawamura-sempai?" She asked as he pushed her out of the room. He then realized that he had done all of this, from his out burst to the pushing without a racket in his hands…that was pretty cool when you look at it in the right way.

"Because God help me I can't stand a week of what I just experienced in the last twenty minutes!" He slammed the door behind her and locked it.

"I'll just go and sleep with my husband!" She yelled through the door.

"DON'T CARE!"

* * *

"Ore-sama hopes you didn't make that silly rule." Atobe said stepping out of the bathroom.

"I didn't," Tezuka replied 'why would I screw myself over by doing that?'

"Good because as Ore-sama said, I will kill you for that rule. Now that Ore-sama is clean we must go and eat."

"Go ahead I'm not that hungry." Tezuka sat down in one of the chairs closer to the porthole window. Atobe looked back and raised an eyebrow.

"Ahn? Why do you not wish to dine with me?"

"Because I'm not hungry," 'or perhaps I'm just afraid you'll jump me in the hallway.' Tezuka thought as his grimace deepened on his face. He did not want that to happen, and knowing how Atobe was right now, it more than likely would. A whole week of running from Atobe didn't exactly sound fun or relaxing in Tezuka's mind. The thought of it was very tiring to be exact, along with the thought of tonight. Maybe Fuji would switch rooms with him. No that wouldn't do, He would kill Atobe on sight and Tezuka could stand with murder. He'd figure something out…eventually.

* * *

**Yep there it is! IN ALL It's glory...wooo....not..**

**EDIT: yea it's a little bit better now, it has Taka-san freaking out! YES...and Tezuka going "no more" for him...**


	7. Day 1: Dinner and Delusions don't mix

**Haha I think this is one of my longer chapters. Purely because I had a little mind theatre intered in here. If you have ever read one of my fics then you'll understand I haven't done one of those in a LONG time. They sorta first got put in because of Tezuka and his cracked out mind due to massive emotional twists and things like that...It's all in another fic I wrote "Just a Bedtime Story Right?" Vampires FujixTezuka its all good. Anywho here is Chapter 7 please enjoy!**

* * *

In the end, Tezuka was eventually forced into going to dinner with Atobe and dinner to say the least was very chaotic mostly on Tezuka's part. Atobe was definitely right when he said that Tezuka's team was very nosy and loud at times. Poor Tezuka was bombarded with questions and complaints about roommates and it was only the first day, they only had to survive this hellish nightmare for one night, then once they arrived at the island then things could go as they pleased. This is how things should be, but no not with Seishun on the boat with Hyotei, there was not any way in hell that was going to happen in peace.

"BUCHOU! SHE FOUND ME, DEAR GOD SHE FOUND ME!" Echizen cried out trying to push Sakuno off his right arm, but there was no sign of success in sight for him.

"Husband I missed you! Why did you try to leave with out me? Why are you rooming with another man?" Sakuno asked, her grip becoming tighter with each passing question. Due to this increased pressure, Echizen's arm was turning a blue-purple.

"Because you dumb bitch I'm gay that's why!" Sakuno released her grasp on Echizen's arm, allowing him to flail about in his rant. "GAY, G-A-Y as in the homosexual orientation, being sexually attracted to the same sex! _Not _the opposite sex. If you hadn't taken the time to notice, which I highly doubt you have, this is a ship full of men!" He yelled in her face. Everyone at the table stared wide-eyed at the display between the two, or well one of them the other was cowering in fear. Sakuno began to sob silently as Echizen continued his verbal assault on her feelings.

"Do you know what we are going to do on that island? WELL?" Echizen asked forcefully.

"I-I don't know…" Sakuno stuttered between tears. What had she done to deserve this treatment from her beloved husband? All she did was give him all the loving affection that a good wife should, she even made him lunches upon occasion, though it usually ended in him pushing them aside to Momoshiro but that was not the point.

"We," he gestured to the others at the table, "are going to have a GIANT gay sex orgy that is what." Sakuno reached behind her for something. "DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT PULLING OUT A DILDO you twisted bitch!" Echizen reached for her wrist pulling it back into sight, he did not want any surprises right now. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Fuji holding down a laugh, but did not say anything all of his attention right now was placed on Sakuno, for once.

"No plastic penises allowed in this orgy! We will be having real sex, none of that fake stuff you do by yourself!"

"Masturbation…" Fuji interjected, still trying to subdue his laughter.

"YES THAT!"

"Tezuka, I think it would be wise to restrain the boy right now." Atobe muttered as he took another bite of his food, "his excitement will mess with my digestion." Tezuka nodded and got up from his seat.

"Echizen," Tezuka placed both of his hands on the boys shoulders and forcefully pushed down, putting most of his weight behind it.

"Ah, buchou that hurts." He winced looking up.

"If I let up, will you stop acting this way? You are upsetting everyone else at the table including Sakuno-chan." He stated, Sakuno stopped crying and looked up at Tezuka.

'_Tezuka-sempai you would be a perfect husband.'_ Sakuno thought.

* * *

_Sakuno's happy-delusion-never-going-to-happen-in-a-million-years Theatre is in session!_

"_I'm home!" Tezuka announced coming through the front door._

"_Ah, I'm glad your home husband. You know everyday is a blessing knowing that you come home to me like a faithful husband and father to your children." Sakuno smiled as she waltz into the living area, two small boys following behind her. "Haruhiko, Kunitaro _(oh yea I'm unimaginative)_ Go and hug your father."_

"_Father you're home!" The youngest, Haruhiko, shrieked as he climbed up Tezuka's left pants leg _(It's a cheesy 1950's theme, look anything can happen)_. "Father, how much longer will we have to live like this?" he whispered into Tezuka's ear._

"_Given the amount of gold poisoning she has in her system it won't be long, probably a month give or take a week." Tezuka replied through clenched teeth as he smiled brightly at Sakuno._

"_Oh what will happen after that?"_

"_Your brother, yourself and I will play the grieving family card and move out of the country with Sanada-san to Connecticut where Sanada and I will get married."_

"_What happened to California?" His other son asked as he latched onto Tezuka's right pants leg. Sakuno had gone back into the kitchen to finish up dinner, what a good homemaker all oblivious and such._

"_They revoked the gay marriage law, Connecticut is the new place to get married…for now." Tezuka explained to both of his children._

"_Ah, I like Sanada-san he's nice when he gets to talking." Kunitaro sighed._

"_But he's really scary when he's mad." Haruhiko stated._

"_Dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes." Sakuno pokes her head out of the kitchen. The two children and Tezuka immediately straightened and smiled wide, just as they had practiced everyday of this horrid existence. "Aw I love you guys."_

"_I love you too dear," Tezuka forced out, still keeping with the happy husband and father routine._

"_We love you as well, mother." Her sons smiled as well. Sakuno let out a small giggle and scooted back into the other room. The others kept the grins on their faces unsure of whether or not Sakuno would pop back in._

"_And Sanada-san looks like a rock at times." Kunitaro was the first to relax._

"_He carries around-" Tezuka began before abruptly stopping._

"_Oh and what about dessert?" Sakuno asked stepping back inside the living room. Kunitaro's face reverted back to the happy smile of before as Tezuka replied for them._

"_Anything you would like to make us dear is just fine me."_

"_Oh alright, I'll call when it's done." She left the room again._

_Tezuka waited a few more moments before starting again keeping the grin firmly in place, "as I was saying, he carries around his family's pet rock, plus I'd rather be married to a rock. My face can't take anymore of this degree of happy." Tezuka finally allowed his face to relax back down into its normal frown once he was sure Sakuno was gone. His children followed suit._

"_Well dad, as much as I like being your son, I can't wrap my head around how you had sex with THAT!" Haruhiko hissed pointing to the kitchen doorway._

"_I was drunk son, and I think there might have been some drugs in there too I can't really remember…I don't want to remember."_

_End Delusional Theatre (for now)_

* * *

'_Oh yes Tezuka-sempai would be a great husband.'_ Sakuno thought as she sighed dreamily up at him.

"Yes Yes I'll stop, just get off!" Echizen groaned.

"Good." Tezuka let his weight off Echizen's shoulders. Echizen got up in a huff from his seat and shot a look over at Hiyoshi.

"Oi Gekokujou freak."

"My name is Hiyoshi." Said Gekokujou freak replied with a frown.

"Whatever, come on we are going back to our room." Echizen ordered.

Hiyoshi looked at him for a moment, unsure of what to make from the situation. "Why should I? I'm hungry."

"Because I just got done ranting about sex, penises, and gay orgies, on top of all that I just had Buchou leaning over me, you piece that together and then get back to me." Hiyoshi nearly spit his food out once he got the picture.

"Oh no, I'm not going to-" before he could finish his sentence Echizen had already grabbed him up by his shirt collar and pulled him towards the door leading to the cabin hallway. "Oshitari-sempai, save me!" Hiyoshi yelled tying his best to pull against the first year.

"Piyo-chan I'll save you I promise!" Oshitari yelled back as he rose from his seat.

"What was that?" Mukahi growled pulling Oshitari back down next to him.

"I have to save Piyo-chan."

"NO YOU ARE TO STAY HERE WITH ME YUUSHI AND LIVE A HAPPY LIFE…WITH ME!" Mukahi yelled.

During all this Tezuka had yet to actually sit back down and Sakuno was still staring at him. "Tezuka-sempai," she began, Tezuka turned and looked at her. "If I divorce Ryoma-kun, would you be my husband?"

"NO!" Tezuka said quickly as did Atobe, everyone in the room then turned their attention to the three of them.

"Tezuka is my wife, not your husband you delusional girl." Atobe grimaced as he to get up from his chair, and walked over behind Tezuka.

"Your wife?" Tezuka questioned raising an eyebrow.

"Yes my wife."

"I think you have it backwards Atobe, you would be my wife."

"Wrong Tezuka dear, who can cook, clean, and take care of kids, hmm," Atobe smirked. "You did quite well when you had to take care of your cousin's son."

"That was a one time thing, besides Kentarou-kun isn't that hard to deal with, he's well mannered and polite, so taking care of him was a simple task."

"Yes well, there is one thing that wives do that makes you perfect for the job." Atobe smirk turned into a malicious grin.

"What would that be?"

"Two words…bottom boy." Giggles erupted from the rest of the table. Tezuka's ears turned a light shade of red at the comment.

"Tezuka-buchou is a bottom boy?" Eiji snickered to Fuji. "I never would have taken him for one."

"I don't really think any of us would have."

"NO…no no no no no no no." Inui shook his head and slammed it onto the table.

"What is it Inui?" Kawamura asked.

"My data is wrong, everything pointed to Tezuka topping not Atobe. EVERYTHING I KNOW IN LIFE IS A LIE!" He cried running from the table.

"Damn…" was all Tezuka could say as he sat back down at the table, Atobe back next to him at the head of the table.

"See, you are my wife Tezuka, enjoy that fact." Atobe patted Tezuka's shoulder lightly, only to be shrugged away. "Yep you are definitely a wife."

* * *

_Omake with Echizen and Hiyoshi_

"I just don't understand why she won't leave me alone." Echizen cried in to Hiyoshi's shoulder. The boy was very disturbed by this display from such a powerful tennis player.

"Just let it out Echizen, everything will...be ok?" He was trying to comfort Echizen, but Hiyoshi just wasn't that kinda guy.

"I'm sorry you had to see this...we can have sex now." Echizen sighed.

"It's ok...what? No we aren't having sex."

"But I just told you Tezuka-buchou was leaning _on top_ of me," Echizen whined.

"No, Oshitari sempai wouldn't allow it."

"I'll let you top me."

That was an interesting prospect. Oshitari never let Hiyoshi top, "Alright, fine just because I can top."

"YEAS!"

* * *

**Alright some of you wanted HiyoshixEchizen then you've got it! kinda sorta not really. Either way it's there now! I don't think I've ever had a little mind theatre that long before, unless it was meant as it's own seperate entity then they were pretty long, but you guys get what I mean right? Good. Now do review as always because I love it!**

**your faithful Authoress,**

**animeo**


	8. Ending of day 1: Attack of the Sakuno!

**Oh yea This is totally a wonderous chapter in my opinion. Seriously I love it...but I don't love the mouth pain I have right now, stupid fillings, then next week I have a freakin root canal before our Choir concert! HOW FUN IS THAT!?...I didn't think so. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Tezuka-sempai!" Sakuno yelled as she continued her assault on the cabin door. Unlike everyone else, excluding Echizen and Hiyoshi, who had gone to bed after dinner, she decided that she would make Tezuka her new husband at any cost. She would harass him down to nothing if that would make him agree to being her husband.

"Tezuka-sempai, please!" Sakuno cried again through the door. Despite the thick oak wood she could still be heard.

"Ore-sama can not sleep like this Tezuka, do something about her." Atobe groaned rolling over in the bed. He had been trying desperately to sleep for the past fifteen minutes, but alas to no avail. Since the girl wanted Tezuka, he should take care of the problem, it's only fair.

"If I go out there, she'll attack me." Tezuka muttered, "besides, it's cold."

If it was dignified to face palm Atobe's life would be one giant face palm, but since it isn't he only did it in private, like right now. "You're kidding me right? Please say you are, Tezuka."

"No I'm not."

"Damn it, fine I'll take care of it." Atobe removed himself from the warm confines of the bed sheets and walked towards the door, not even bothering to fix his hair in any fashion, this girl wasn't worth the time and effort. "If you want something done, you must do it yourself." Atobe grumbled under his breath, Tezuka wasn't kidding when he said it was cold. It was freezing in their room, really when had it gotten to that point? It wasn't this cold when they got back from dinner, oh well.

Atobe scowled when he opened up the door, the light out side was enough to blind…well a blind person. "May Ore-sama help you with something?" He asked holding his hand up to shield his eyes.

"You were having sex with my husband weren't you!?" Sakuno yelled throwing an accusing finger into the Hyotei captain's face.

"Ahn? Look little girl, remove your finger from Ore-sama's face and get your face out of my sight." He said waving the girl away.

Tezuka sighed and got out of the bed, Atobe wasn't doing any progress of making Sakuno go away so he would do it himself. Thankfully the room was dark enough for him to feel around for something to make him decent. Atobe had been a bit too eccentric when they had returned to the room, so he wasn't ready to deal with other people. Upon dawning his clothing he walked up behind Atobe and glared at Sakuno through tired eyes. "What do you want?" he hissed. "Better yet how long have you been out here?"

"Since dinner." She answered with a smile. Atobe's eyes widened and realized that was why she had accused him of having sex with Tezuka. She was listening in? That little pervert! He knew he should have told Tezuka he was being too loud, and others could here him, but no he was too busy doing _other_ things of more importance at the time.

Tezuka sighed and place his hand on his forehead and said in a low voice, "Look Sakuno-chan, this isn't going to work-"

"But-" Sakuno began.

"- you are probably a very nice girl, but I can't be your husband." Tezuka finished. He was trying his damnedest to be polite, but it wasn't working out in his favor. "Now please return to whatever room it is that you came from, we'll get you back home tomorrow." He concluded before walking back into the room.

"But Tezuka-sempai," Sakuno hesitated for a moment before continuing, "ano…what if I told you that…Atobe-san was cheating on you with Sanada-san from Rikkai Dai?"

Atobe's breathing stopped at this, as did his heart. She knew? How? He hadn't been seeing Sanada for very long, month at most definitely not long enough for some Ichinen from Seishun to know about it a girl no less.

"I'd call you a liar." Tezuka responded as he climbed back into bed. Atobe let out his breath with a small laugh before waving good night to Sakuno and closed the door. He allowed his eyes to adjust back to the darkness before taking the necessary steps back to the bed.

"Ore-sama is glad to know that you don't think that he would cheat on you with Sanada. How vulgar would that be?"

"I don't have to worry because Sanada doesn't get into relationships, he's just a whore who will do pretty much anyone that's all. So if you are having sex with him, don't get too attached." Tezuka rolled over with his back facing Atobe.

"I would never have sex with that."

"That's what I said the first time too, but its ok, he'll tire of you eventually and we will all move on with life. Goodnight."

"Ah- But-…" Atobe let out a growl before rolling over to face the wall. Tezuka was definitely a wife…not a husband.

* * *

"AAAH! H-Hiyoshi-sempai!" Echizen cried out as he dug his fingers into the pristine white sheets of the bed. His body convulsed with pleasure as Hiyoshi continued pounding into him. He didn't quite understand why Oshitari never allowed Hiyoshi to top, but he was sure the Tensai had his reasons for it, however crazy they maybe.

Hiyoshi thrusted forward a few more times before tightly shutting his eyes and let out the breath he had been holding for probably the last thirty seconds or so. Pulling out slowly he laid down next to Echizen, who had laid his right arm over his eyes, breathing heavily and a faint flush over his cheeks.

"G-Gekokujou…success." Hiyoshi breathed out into the mattress. Echizen looked over at him and narrowed his eyes.

"What was that?"

"I don't even know…" Hiyoshi looked up at the younger boy through glazed eyes. Echizen let out a laugh and rolled over clutching his sides. "What?"

"Nothing, just you look so wasted right now!"

"Well at least I'm not on the floor." Hiyoshi sneered.

"What?" Echizen asked. Hiyoshi's arm shot out from his side and within half a second or less Echizen was lying on the floor.

"See you're on the floor." Hiyoshi explained before adding, "Gekokujou success…again." under his breath.

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**HAHA I TOTALLY WENT THERE YOU GUYS! No freakin joke! Hiyoshi equals epic greatness with that punch. And ATOBE IS A WHORE! HAHAHA! ah, Sanada is never going to be taken out of that whore joke I'm tellin ya it's going to inhabit almost every crack fic from now on! I SWEAR IT!...notice the word crack fic because it's no good if it's in a serious angsty one. I love your reviews you guys!**

**your faithful authoress,**

**animeo**


	9. Day 2: A Sakuno A Day Keeps Tezuka Pissy

**Ugh, I'm so full right now. I just ate so much black-eye peas, cabbage, collard greens, and cornbread that I will be a very rich girl in the coming year because of it. Bleh. Enjoy...**

**Warning: A very weird Tezuka ahead...like seriously he's a freakin weirdo and Atobe being called a queen too...you'll see. Oh yea, and Sakuno's there too so just be careful when reading.

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Atobe opened his eyes and winced at the light that was flooding through the porthole of his cabin.

"Ore-sama…commands that the sun…go away." He groaned rolling over, coving his head with his arms and the covers as he did so.

"It's ten in the morning Atobe, you should get up already." Tezuka said poking his head out from the bathroom, a towel draped over his wet hair. Seeing that he gained no response from the other boy he walked over shook Atobe's shoulder. "Oi, get up."

"Ore-sama would rather lie here," He said reaching out and grabbing Tezuka's waist, and pulled him down. "With you Tezuka."

"Atobe this is no time for games, let me go." Tezuka said as he tried to push Atobe away.

"But Ore-sama commands this." Atobe whined strengthening his grip.

A small thump sounded on the door. Tezuka went slack, and turned his head towards the sound. Atobe viewed this as a moment to seize what he wanted. Without skipping a beat, he pushed Tezuka down onto the bed, pinning his arms above his head. His glasses now askew on his face. The fact that his hair was still wet from his recent shower did not help him any either. In Atobe's opinion, the lock made Tezuka look rather intoxicating just laying there. The robe that Tezuka was unfortunately wearing was half-undone from all his squirming and wiggling around he had done.

"Atobe, I said this isn't the time for this. Someone is outside the door." Tezuka hissed.

"Let them hear." the smirk on Atobe's face had a slight edge to it. He was fond of knowing that someone was listening in, but if that is how someone got their kicks then so be it, as long as they did not interrupt his business.

"Ato-"

"HUSBAND!" The door burst open with Sakuno on the other side. Her eyes widened at the erotic sight. The tangle of limbs and bed sheets was enough to make any _normal_ girl die from blood loss, but no not Sakuno she was too _tough_ for that.

"GET OFF OF MY HUSBAND YOU PERVERT!" She yelled running towards the bed.

"Ore-sama thinks that he has every right to look at this man half naked," Atobe pointed down at Tezuka, "since he is _not_ your husband, but my wife-"

"I'm not your wife Atobe." Tezuka interjected.

"- and lover! He wants nothing to do with you, girl. You are just barely above half his height anyways, so what could you do for him, A-hn?" Atobe sneered raising an eyebrow at Sakuno, and crossed his arms over his chest.

Sakuno stood there shuffling her feet a bright blush on her face. "Ano…ugh…I-I" She stammered.

"Ore-sama is waiting for an answer." Atobe sighed tapping his right index finger on the upper part of his left arm.

Sakuno looked up at him, tears pushing their way to the surface. "Don't tell me you're going to cry now." Atobe wrinkled his nose. "How pathetic."

Something in Sakuno snapped at that point. Rushing forward she, pushed Atobe off the bed, causing him to tumble backwards onto the floor, upon landing hitting the back of his head onto the wall with a sickening crack. He slid down the wall sideways in a heap.

"Atobe!" Tezuka began crawling across the bed to see what the damage was only Sakuno grabbing his wrist stopped him midway.

"You are my husband," She said darkly.

"Sakuno-chan, I told you before, this will not work out at all." Tezuka replied fixing his askew glasses. "What you just did was highly uncalled for and-"

"I DON'T CARE!" Sakuno yelled cutting Tezuka's statement off. Tezuka flinched; he had never heard the girl yell like that before, especially with so much anger behind it. She tightened her hold on Tezuka's wrist, small bones and tendons began to shift and pop under the pressure.

"Sakuno-chan," Tezuka winced.

"I love you, Tezuka-sempai!" She yelled out.

Tezuka sighed placing his hand on his forehead. "Sakuno-chan, you barely know me, besides a few hours ago you were saying you loved Echizen."

"Echizen-kun was a mistake! He would never stay faithful to anyone. You Tezuka-sempai, you are the kind of guy that would stay with someone."

"If I would stay with someone and be faithful then why would I leave Atobe for you? Look at him." Tezuka pointed at Atobe's body on the ground. "Sakuno-chan what on earth makes you think I'd go out with a crazy person like you? Atobe is probably injured in some way from that blow to the head. Now let go of me."

"No, Atobe-san isn't the right person for you I am."

"What makes you think that?"

"First off, Atobe is a boy that's already wrong on so many levels. Second, he is a pompous jerk who does not know when to stop showing off. Third, he's no where near you equal!" Sakuno continued naming off Atobe's faults and was out of breath by the time she finished.

"Yes Sakuno-chan he is a boy, I don't see anything wrong with it. In addition, I am aware of him being pompous, flamboyant, overly confident, pretentious, and conceited, but did you ever think that I might like those things about him? Atobe is everything that I am not, which is the very reason I am attracted to him in the first place. Both of us are just as insane as the other, when our two insanities come together though, we can come up with very sane ideas." Tezuka explained pulling free from Sakuno's slack grip and rubbed his poor abused wrist.

"I heard it come from Tezuka-Buchou's room, do you think he's ok?" a voice came from the hallway.

"I'm no sure, I heard a thump in the walls and poked my head out of my room," answered another.

"I'm going to go over to his room and check it out, he may have hurt himself."

Tezuka frowned, just because he acted like an old man does not mean that he falls and hurts himself like one.

"Tezuka is everything ok? We heard some bumps and yelling." Oishi asked, sheepishly poking his head in the open door way.

"Everything is fine, just a misunderstanding. Oishi take Sakuno-chan back to her room please."

"Umm sure, come on Sakuno-chan let's go." Oishi hesitantly took Sakuno by the hand and tried to lead her out.

"NO! I want to stay here with Tezuka-sempai, I love him!"

"Sakuno-chan, I tried to be nice about this, but and how ever I can see that isn't going to work so I'll say this one and only once." Tezuka began taking a deep breath. "Get the hell out of my room you bat-shit crazy woman! I am gay; there is no two ways about it all right. Now go back to your room before I stuff you into a trunk and throw it over board myself, and watch you die within the dark crevices of the oceans black depths. In addition, I hope that when I do throw you over board, that the waters will start to creep in through the cracks of the lid and the hinges, and you slowly drown in the most horrifying way. Also I do believe that when this happens you will be thinking in the back of your mind between your screams of mercy that this is what you deserve for hurting Atobe in front me." Tezuka glared pushing Sakuno out the door with Oishi. "Good day to you Sakuno-chan."

"Tezuka-sempai…"

"I SAID GOOD DAY!" Tezuka slammed the door shut and locked it. Leaning up against it, he sighed and slid down the door.

"Ore-sama will say Tezuka that was a most impressive outburst from you." Atobe groaned from the floor on the other side of the bed. "I had no idea you felt that way about me." He lifted himself up so that Tezuka could see his face over the edge of the bed.

"You heard all of that?" Tezuka asked.

"Of course, who couldn't you said it loud enough for even the dead to hear." Atobe rubbed the back of his had and winced, "That girl has quite the aggressive push. Ore-sama could have cracked his skull open.

"Atobe." Tezuka said suddenly as he lifted himself up off the floor.

"Yes?"

"Get on the bed. Atobe gave a questioning look to Tezuka at the order.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me get on the bed now."

"What's with the ordering? I just hit my head on the wall Tezuka; you should be more compassionate to my pain. Besides, I should be telling you that, since you are so scantly dressed." Atobe lazily pointed at Tezuka's robe. "Ore-sama doesn't believe he's ever undressed you from a robe before, this could pose to be a very exciting encounter."

"What makes you think you're toping this time? I'll have you know that your privilege has been revoked at the moment." Atobe blanched at this prospect. "For you see, I'm not in the greatest of moods at the moment Atobe, so I don't feel like being on bottom."

This never really happened often, the roles rarely switched between the two of them. Atobe did not like it when this occurred, because his power in the situation was immediately taken away by Tezuka, who was a rather dominating person when he wished to be. Of course Atobe was not a very submissive person to just anyone, the only person being an incensed Tezuka.

Atobe quickly scrambled his way onto the bed and sat there cross-legged waiting patiently. Tezuka removed his glasses and placed them down on the table that was next to the door leading to the hallway.

"Ore-sama is waiting, Tezuka." Atobe drawled, stretching out onto the bed.

"Really?"

"Really really." Atobe replied rolling over onto his back, giving Tezuka an upside down smirk. Atobe closed his eyes and began speaking with very animated hand gestures. "You know that when Ore-sama has to be on bottom, that Ore-sama is not to be kept waiting, because you see your temper will-" Atobe's sentence was cut off by Tezuka's mouth. During Atobe's elaborate speech, Tezuka had become rather annoyed and had crawled up onto the bed, unbeknownst to the other who already occupied part of the space, and grabbed one of the rouge wrists and pulled Atobe up into the kiss, steadying Atobe with his free hand in the small of Atobe's back, effectively silencing the boy.

"With your infuriating speech patterns, I'm surprised I'm ever in a good mood." Tezuka deadpanned.

Atobe wrinkled his nose, "What is wrong with Ore-sama's speaking habits?"

"Nothing other than the fact that they make you sound arrogant, self-centered, and above all rude." Tezuka stated placing a kiss up Atobe's arm in between each of the offensive adjective.

"That is uncalled-for, Tezuka!" Atobe scoffed, "If anyone is being rude right now it's you. You should be reprimanding yourself for speaking to me that way."

"Oh I should?" Atobe nodded in response. "Well then…" Tezuka let go of Atobe and scooted to the edge of the bed crossing his right leg over his left, crossed his arms over his chest, and stared at the door.

"Umm, Tezuka, Ore…I would like to know what it is that you are doing." Atobe asked picking himself up and sitting on his knees.

"I'm reprimanding myself, as per your request."

"Oh…" Atobe muttered. Waiting a few seconds he asked, "Are you done yet?"

"Almost." Tezuka replied before taking a deep breath and turned to Atobe. "Now I'm done."

"Oh alright." Atobe said before Tezuka pushed him down onto the bed. Atobe let out a gasp as Tezuka began kissing down to the nape of his neck. A blush crept up his cheeks and to the tops of his ears.

"Tezuka," He hissed once Tezuka began to bite on his left earlobe.

"Yes?" Tezuka replied in a low whisper next to his ear, as he wedged his knee in between Atobe's already spread legs.

"Do you think you're taking long enough?" Another gasp escaped Atobe's lips when Tezuka's knee grazed the inside of his right thigh.

"Why so hasty when we've only just started?" Tezuka rubbed his knee against Atobe's thigh again, "These things take time you know that Atobe."

"I do not wish for you to take your time, Tezuka, I am a busy man."

"We only have time to waste, isn't that what you told me last night?"

Atobe blushed as memories flooded back to him. How many times had it been last night? Six? Seven? He could not remember it was a lot he knew that.

Tezuka slipped his hands underneath Atobe's Pajama shirt making him flinch at the touch.

"That's hardly the point." He said. Tezuka's cold hand began to tickle his skin with light touches, which made him squirm. "Tezuka." Atobe whined.

"Alright, your wish is my command my queen." Atobe blushed at the embarrassing name. Tezuka only called him this during these intimate acts, and when he was on bottom. Also when Tezuka said this, was he about to really get down to business.

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**See what did I tell you? Tezuka is an effin' weirdo!**

**reviews are not effin' weird so please do write me one would you?**

**Now I'm going to act like a fatty fatty some more and go stuff my face!**

**until next time,**

**animeo**

**PS. ....mmm...cornbread is good....so is collards when they're cooked right!**


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